Two Good Things: An Election Day Elixir

Dear Ones,

(And, if you are reading this, you are dear to me, even if we have never met.)

I had a blog post nearly written. I had hoped to post it Sunday night. But no. It didn’t feel quite ready. I had hoped to post it Monday night. But no. It didn’t feel quite ready.

I had hoped to post it this morning, Tuesday morning, November 5, Election Day here in America. But when I woke up this morning, I realized I could not post it, because it was not what I, myself, needed to hear right now. Maybe someday I will get back to that post, but, for now, I am tacking in a different direction.

The America I encounter around me is wrapped in a sea of anxiety today. Dismay, Fear, Anger, Hatred. A nation divided by a chasm that, at the moment, feels impossible to bridge. Those disturbing feelings have been building for weeks and months — even years — and today here we are. What good thing might help at this tender, vulnerable moment? I have two thoughts, based purely on my own lived experience of trying not to lose my mind during this election season.

People ask me how I am handling my own anxiety. My answer? By watching kitten videos. People laugh, because it is kind of funny. And also because people need laughter, especially right now.

But my answer is honest. I have been watching a lot of kitten videos during the last few weeks. Not just any kitten videos. In particular, I have been watching videos of kittens rescued from high kill shelters and then fostered until they are ready to adopt.

I follow one particular foster mom the most — a young woman who rushes off the minute she gets word that some high kill shelter has kittens or pregnant mama cats that are going to be euthanized immediately. She brings them home and cares for them until they are ready to be adopted.

Sometimes the kittens have their mama cat, so they can nurse easily. Sometimes the kittens are motherless, and they have to be bottle-fed every two hours all day and all night until they gain strength. Sometimes the human foster mom is able to introduce orphaned kittens into another litter whose nursing mama adopts them and cares for them as her own. Sometimes mama cats and kittens are very sick and need special care. Regardless of the condition of the feline families, the human foster mom cares for them. She regularly posts little update videos so that crazy people like me can see and celebrate the progress of the various little families. Each video contains a reminder — no, a plea — for people to neuter their pets so that such little ones do not end up in high kill shelters in the first place.

Actually, here you go. You can look over my shoulder and see my election anxiety reduction strategy for yourself:

Facebook

So, why am I telling you this? Not so that you will watch kitten videos, although you may find some heartwarming moments there. I am telling you this because in the last week or so, I have heard numerous reminders that, regardless of how this election turns out, we will still have a lot of work to do. Our nation has endured a very rough, hurtful, and disturbing time, and the damage done will not end if our favored candidate wins.

Healing and rebuilding will require people to find their own particular ways of contributing to the world. The human foster kitten mom contributes by caring for animals made vulnerable by the carelessness of other human beings. Your way and my way may be different. Cooking or serving meals at the local food pantry maybe. Or picking up trash along the highway. Or becoming a Big Brother or Big Sister. Or finding harmless ways to control invasive species. Or shelving books at the local library. Or tutoring some bewildered child lost in a sea of algebra equations. Or teaching a civics class. Or bringing your singing group to the local nursing home.

The opportunities are boundless. What calls to you? What one thing — large or small — can you do to help heal our world? My biggest calling these days is to work with the local asylum seeker population. What amazing people I have met doing that! And how gratifying it is to know that my efforts provide real help!

So, good thing number one is this: Find and pursue your calling in our bruised and hurting world.

Good thing number two came out of a conversation I had with friends yesterday morning. I was lamenting about the fact that I felt stuck in finishing up my blog post. One of my friends piped up and said, “So, write about us.”

She was right.

Here’s the setting: Every Monday morning, a group of my neighbors gathers for what we call Easy Peasy Coffee. Easy Peasy had its genesis in the wake of the sudden death of one of our beloved neighbors. As we tried to bring comfort to his grieving widow, we recognized how important it was for us to stay in regular touch. We wanted to create something that was fairly effortless to carry on. Voila! Easy Peasy Coffee.

Here are the Easy Peasy Coffee Rules:

• We gather at a set time every week.

• Attendance is never mandatory.

• Bring your own cup of coffee.

• Come as you are. Pajamas are okay. Your exercise clothes are okay. You don’t have to have combed your hair or taken your shower yet. Really, come as you are.

• You don’t have to host.

• If you do host, you don’t have to clean your house. You don’t have to offer refreshments. The only thing you have to do is open your door.

Easy Peasy.

With the exception of the summer months, when everyone was too busy hosting visitors or coming and going on various vacations, we have carried on Easy Peasy Coffee for more than a year now, and it is still going strong. People cycle in and out of the group as they can or desire. Some people host often, some rarely. Some attend regularly, some occasionally. I organize the hosting schedule and send out reminder emails.

And what have we found? Friendship. Support. Encouragement. Humor. Comfort. Community.

Community is good thing number two.

I feel so fortunate to live in a neighborhood that is able to make Easy Peasy happen. But, to tell the truth, reaching this point has taken some effort and some initiation through the years. No such community existed in my neighborhood when my family first moved here. But then there was the couple who started hosting a neighborhood Christmas party. And then there was the one neighbor who started a book group. And then there were the handful of friends who set to work on annual neighborhood block parties. Little by little, various neighbors found ways to build community right here. Book readings from published authors in the neighborhood. Neighborhood yard sales. Outdoor fundraising concerts on neighbors’ lawns. A walk-by birthday party in the dead of winter during Covid for a neighbor who was turning 100 — a party that included cake, champagne, and confetti guns!

In our culture, so many people live in silos, with their socializing happening online instead of face-to-face. I cannot emphasize how much my family’s life has improved as we and the people who live around us have found ways to build community right here in our neighborhood. It has taken time. It has taken effort. It has all been worth it.

Maybe your own neighborhood isn’t conducive to this sort of thing. (You may be surprised, though. To be perfectly honest, there was a time when I couldn’t have imagined such an evolution in my own neighborhood.) But there are ways to find community. Book groups. Singing groups. The League of Women Voters. Volunteer activities (see good thing number one, above). Churches, synagogues, mosques. Men’s groups. Women’s groups. And on and on and on. There’s a place for you. There’s a place for me. There’s a place for us.

At some point, we will know how the election has turned out. We will all have to chart our way forward, based on the results. Whatever the road ahead turns out to be, I wish for you ways to find and embrace your calling in our unfolding world and a loving community to wrap its arms around you as you go.

Much love on this fraught day,

Sylvia